


Can You Hear Those Silver Bells?

by DigitalGhost



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Shopping, Christmas Sweaters, Fluff, Hot Chocolate, Hurt and comfort, Kisses, Kissing, M/M, Shopping, Snow, Stucky - Freeform, Unspecified Mental Disorders, snowflakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 03:44:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16987431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalGhost/pseuds/DigitalGhost
Summary: Steve takes Bucky on a little Christmas shopping trip to get his spirits up, but reality and the past are a thing.





	Can You Hear Those Silver Bells?

“Are we back home yet?”

Steve chuckled to himself, keeping his eyes on the road. “Not quite, Buck.”

Bucky groaned quietly and went silent. Thought his reluctance to be here was clear, he had kept his hands on Steve’s waist throughout the whole motorcycle ride.

Finding a parking spot, Steve stopped the engine and let out the kickstand. He took off his helmet as Bucky did likewise and locked them to the handlebar.

“What the hell is this,” Bucky asked quietly, sticking his gloved hands in his coat pockets.

“It’s Christmas time, Buck!” Steve proclaimed, gesturing to the decorated shops and stores twinkling around them. There was everything from toy stores to cafes, even an indoor mall with a movie theater. Everything shone bright with light and eye-catching decorations, but Steve just hoped the brightness wouldn’t be a problem for Bucky. “I was thinking we could look around, shop, maybe get some hot cocoa. We could also buy christmas presents while we’re here too, if you want…” Steve trailed off, looking over at Bucky.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you want to do.” He said in almost a monotone, face impassive.

Steve sighed to himself and took hold of Bucky’s flesh hand, to better navigate through the heavy holiday crowds. And to remind himself that however scarred, beaten, or tortured he may be, he was still Bucky, and he was still here with Steve.

He just needed to remind Bucky of that too.

 

*

 

“How about this one?” Steve asked, holding up yet another christmas sweater.

Bucky grunted noncommittally and looked away, gazing out the shop window with a vacant expression.

Steve set the hanger back on the rack and continued rifling through the options. After some non-productive gift shopping, they had decided (just Steve, actually) to buy some Christmas sweaters for themselves.

They continued like that for ten minutes, Steve finding sweaters, Bucky shooting them all down. Steve looked at nowhere in particular, about to surrender and try something else, when suddenly he heard a ringing laugh.

He turned around and was surprised to see Bucky smiling at something, shaking his head to himself.

“Buck?” He asked in wonder, walking over to where Bucky was.

He had laughed in this century before, but those had all been humorless, sometimes even pained laughter.

Now, though… The last time he’d laughed like this had been 1944.

“Bucky?” He repeated, still feeling a kind of raw amazement. Bucky looked over at him, a light in his eyes Steve had thought long extinguished.

“Steve, look… They made a typo on this sweater…” Bucky said through laughter, showing him a black sweater. Steve guessed it was supposed to say “Merry Christmas”, plain and simple, but instead of “Christmas”, someone had spelled it with two “s”s at the end, making it….

“Merry Christm-ass,” Bucky said, still overly pleased. “That is the greatest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

Steve smiled deeply and called over to the cashier near the back counter. “Excuse me, but how much is this sweater?”

The cashier looked over at them, previously putting some festive-looking beanies on shelves. “Well, that’s from the clearance bin, so I don’t think it’ll be that much. If you’re ready, you can bring it over there and come buy it.”

Steve glanced at Bucky, who looked at him with eager eyes. “All right then, let’s make our purchase.”

The sweater was $4.89, but Bucky’s smile was worth the world to Steve.

 

*

 

The rest of the day was… interesting.

After they bought the sweater, they went back outside to look around, Bucky rather cheerful -for his standards, anyway. But within fifteen minutes, he had reverted back to his regular old moody and foreboding self.

Steve noticed this, of course, him having another set of eyes just for Bucky, as Sam had once put it. He switched the bag with the sweater to his right hand, and grabbed Bucky’s own, the human one. He squeezed it, and to his surprise, he felt the squeeze returned, even if Bucky’s eyes were far-off and distant.

“How does a cup of cocoa sound?” Steve asked a bit later, gesturing with his free hand (the one not holding onto Bucky) to a nearby cafe. Getting nothing but silence in reply, he went and steered their party of two toward the small building.

Once inside, they slid into a small booth, both ordering mugs of hot chocolate. While they waited, Steve would sometimes try to catch Bucky’s glimpse, but every time, the brunette’s gaze would be out the window. His face nor eyes betrayed no emotion, but Steve knew him too well to be deceived.

“Hey.” Steve said gently. Bucky’s eyes turned to Steve, within them a little… Wariness? Apprehension? Fear? He had used to be able to tell, but now it was like Bucky still had the mask of the Winter Soldier, clamped over his face by feared and forceful hands. “What’cha thinkin’ about?”

Bucky’s brow creased a bit, the way it did when he concentrated. “Well… Um, just, just now I was thinking about a Christmas we had together, back before… you know. I can only remember one of them, but…” He trailed off, unable to share more and Steve not wanting to press harder than he should.

Steve let the silence sit around them, becoming comfortable with it. He slid his hand forward and grabbed Bucky’s right hand yet again, interlocking their fingers. Only when their hot chocolates arrived, did he let go.

It was quiet again, save for the soft clinking of spoons against mugs, the gentle murmur of people’s chatter, and faint christmas music playing on overhead speakers.

“Do you still get sick?”

Surprised, Steve blinked out of a thoughtless haze and turned to look at Bucky. Once he caught his gaze, however, Buck looked away sheepishly.

“Sorry, it’s just… the one Christmas I can remember is one where… I think your mom had just died? I had moved in with you to keep you company, and…” He smiled faintly, and got a nostalgic look in his eyes. “We went and played out in the snow, to try and cheer you up, I think. The next day, though, you had gone and caught yourself a cold. I said something funny to you and you laughed, but it turned into a cough…” He looked back at Steve. “Do you still get sick easily like that?”

Steve hadn’t been expecting a trip down Memory Lane, so it took him a moment to respond. “Oh, well no, actually, the serum that I took, to get to be Captain America, it really improved my cell system and health and all that, so I hardly ever get sick anymore, plus no asthma or getting drunk or anything.”

Bucky nodded, like this was exactly what he wanted to hear, and turned back to his hot chocolate.

Steve sat in the booth, pondering, his own hot chocolate untouched.

 

*

 

As they walked out of the cafe, they wandered about aimlessly, no destination in mind. Steve looked into the assorted shop windows, searching for gifts for Sam and Nat. He was about to tug them toward a little store when Bucky tugged on his hand, directing his attention.

“Hey, Steve.” He said, pointing upward. “Look.”

Looking upward, he immediately had to blink, as miniscule snowflakes had fallen in his eyes. Bucky laughed lightly as he raised a hand to wipe them out, and the brunette grinned as he stuck his tongue out, the flakes disappearing into his open mouth.

Within a few minutes, white had completely dusted Bucky’s hair and face like flour. Steve was sure he himself wasn’t any better.

“Steve, you, you got something…” Bucky muttered, raising his left arm to Steve’s face. He wore a thin glove, but the coolness of the metal underneath the fabric gave him a chill.

Bucky took his hand away after a moment. “Sorry, it’s just… hot chocolate…”

“Right,” Steve said, distracted.

He was noticing more and more often lately that Bucky was acting kind of similarly to how he had during their Howling Commando days, after whatever Zola had done to him in that small lab. Sensitive to sudden or extreme physical contact, flinching at loud sounds or bright lights, often gazing away from the current situation with clouded eyes. It made Steve’s heart hurts to see him like this, but…

 _‘But what? What can I do?’_ He looked over at Bucky, who was still looking around at the snowflakes, mouth slightly opened in wonder.

Steve smiled, and began formulating a plan.

 

*

 

“Oh, thank god,” Bucky moaned as they walked back into their shared apartment, collapsing on the couch.

“Bucky, we weren’t even gone for that long,” Steve said with a smile.

“I know, Stevie, but it felt like foreveeeer,”

Huh. He hadn’t been called by that name since before the ice.

“Oh Buck, I forgot to give you something, could come over here for a sec?” Steve said, trying his best to sound casual.

The form on the couch didn’t budge, however.

“Bucky… Come on, it’s important to meee,” He tried again, this time with a little whine to his voice. It reminded himself of when he’d been a skinny little twig of a kid, and Bucky seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because he smirked and finally got up.

“Whatever it is, Rogers, it better be worth-”

Steve interrupted him with a pressing of his lips against Bucky’s, a lingering kiss, that neither of them fully expected. Bucky’s lips were softer than he’d thought they would be, the warmness of his breath refreshing after the winter chill.

It wasn’t a terribly long kiss, but it wasn't just a peck, either. Steve pulled away slowly, still kind of in denial of what he’d done.

He tried his best not make it awkward as he looked at Bucky, who’d just opened his eyes. His expression was unreadable.

“So, how was your day, beautiful?”

The before mentioned beautiful man blinked a few times before processing the question. “Umm… Well, I got to spend it with the most wonderful guy I know, who was being so darn sweet to me, so I’d say it was pretty good day.”

Steve smiled, and planted a soft peck on Bucky’s cheek. “Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my third try writing this fic, can you tell i gave up  
> happy holidays and all, stay safe and warm


End file.
